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creid

Trying to Keep on Drawin'
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Strip Search

2 min read
If you're not watching Strip Search you're doing yourself a disservice.

The passion each of the contestants have in pursuing this dream of being the next big cartoonist makes me feel like shit. I'd like to believe that I'm just like them and want the same thing but clearly I'm not trying hard enough or even at all. I want to but I'm just not right now. Its a paralyzation by thinking ahead and putting all the work into something you love and not having anything to show for it. I know that that shouldn't be the way to look at it and that I should work on my ideas for myself but there's a part of me that also wants that feeling of validation. The first step to that however is actually putting yourself out there for there to be something to be judged, its just a hurdle, or the hurdle, I have left to jump. These contestants on the show however are putting themselves out there and I can't help but want to be where they're at even though many of them are just starting to put their foot in the door.

I had more thoughts on what I wanted to talk about with this show but I'm unable to articulate further on what I want to get across. I specifically chose to post an entry on here because I felt Twitter's 140-character limitation was too much of a, well, limitation but now that I'm typing this out, I can only think, "Watch and be inspired." which would surely fit on there.
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Guild Wars 2

1 min read
Gah! Its only two days 'til headstart but dammit, it feels like the longest two days ever.

Not that I've been the most active the past few months but even more crickets should be expected with this coming out so soon. Sorry.
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Now, first and foremost, this is an opinion and I am incredibly likely to be talking completely out of my ass. It will be also incredibly long and drawn out and I'm expecting no one to actually read this but if you do decide to, I would like to thank you now for taking the time. Also, I will be spoiling the hell out of several games and storylines. Particularly Red Dead Redemption, Fallout 3, Dragon Age: Origins, PvPonline and, of course, the Mass Effect series. As well as any other game/storyline I can think of as I continue to type up this post, which will result into something that may end up being completely incoherent and incomprehensible since, at times, I'm unable to put my thoughts into words eloquently.

I would also like to point out that I am a total bitch to the Mass Effect series and love it to absolute death despite its flaws, to which I'm aware it has several. I loved Mass Effect 1 when it first came out and have incredibly fond memories of playing it. After playing the second and third installments to the series, however, it is almost impossible for me to replay the first game again. It almost makes me feel bad, to the point of unthinkably hating it, because I loved the improvements to the series in the second and third in terms of gameplay. I adore Mass Effect 2, though it gets a lot of hate for not having a "real story", just for the strength of the characters alone. And personally, my appreciation for Mass Effect 3 is so strong mostly because of the strength of the character development of our squadmates in 2 and to some extent 1.

Arguably, the two shining moments of Mass Effect 3 is Tuchanka and, my personal favourite, Rannoch. Mordin, Wrex, Tali, Legion, the history and lore behind the Krogan Rebellions, Salarians, the Genophage, Quarian, Geth and their 300+ year long war, they were all done to perfection, IMO. Its also tied to the end of this trilogy, I think. With those two acts, Tuchanka and Rannoch, sacrifices were made. This is assuming you went and cured the Genophage and brought peace to both the Quarians and Geth. Those sacrifices were so powerful. Admittedly, the one on Rannoch actually brought tears to my eyes. Which makes the end of the game, in my eyes, such a shame and its unfortunate that it didn't even come close to being as emotional for me. Going into Mass Effect 3, I was expecting and convinced that Shepard would not survive. I was fully committed to accepting a tragic end for this character I had grown incredibly attached to over the past five years. I was also expecting the Mass Relays somehow ending up inert and possibly have the galaxy go back to something akin to a "space dark age" but that's a whole other line of thought processes I don't want to discuss at this time XP

Many folk are upset at the lack of choices at the end, at least I'm assuming that's the general and one of many complaints though I'm very likely wrong. My disappointment in it, however, is not in the lack of choices. I'm actually willing to accept the whole Destroy, Control and Synthesis paths. My lack of satisfaction comes from not having a sense of the aftermath of this entire conflict. Whether the Reapers are sent away or obliterated, along with the Mass Relays and Citadel, that didn't matter too much to me. Hell, I don't even need an explanation to the entire cycle or the Reapers' origins and existence. What I wanted was to see if my decision meant anything to the people, and the galaxy, I had been a part of for the past five years. It wasn't just Shepard that I cared about in the franchise, it was everyone else as well.

The way Tuchanka and Rannoch played out in the end, with Mordin and Legion's sacrifice, it almost makes it feel like an entirely different game compared to how the battle for Earth and basically the entire Reaper war ended, with Shepard's sacrifice. It made me wonder why I almost didn't care that Shepard gave his life for the rest of the galaxy and I think its because all we got was the Normandy crash landing, basically. To only have the Normandy crash land safely on an undisclosed planet rich with plant life and have a handful of your crew step out to watch the sunrise, as artistic or symbolic as they wanted to make it seem, is just simply not enough. At least for me it wasn't. I think if BioWare had chosen to give some closure, as bad as the final choices, or lack thereof, may or may not have been, a lot of the "ending controversy" could have been tempered.

I've already written so much and I haven't even talked about the other games and storylines I mentioned earlier. And to be completely honest, my thoughts on them feel like they've already passed and it lost its meaning in my head but I'll try and make some sense out of it. Anyway, I brought those up because each one of those games and storylines has, at some point, though mostly the ending, had some sort of sacrifice.

The first game I'll bring up is Dragon Age: Origins. And I'll be honest here, if I haven't been already, but I did not love DA:O. I don't really count myself among the people who would call themselves fans of DA:O though this is not to say I hated it. I liked, appreciated and enjoyed it well enough, I just didn't love it as much as I know many other people do. What I did particularly like was "The Ultimate Sacrifice". Jump through here if you want to watch it. For those who don't want to or have the time to sit through the video, it essentially sums up your sacrifice with a ceremony, or at the very least acknowledges what you've done with one,  which is why I thought the Normandy scene was not enough, like I had mentioned before. That's pretty much all I wanted to bring up about DA:O XD

In Red Dead Redemption, John Marsten gave up his life to protect his family, to give them enough time to get away. John had done the job forced upon him by the authorities, reluctant as he was, just so he could return to his family and finally give them a good life. He wanted his son to be better than what he was, to not be an outlaw like him. While John's death was bittersweet in that he saved his family and somewhat redeemed himself for his past, what was tragic, I thought, was despite the lessons he gave to Jack to be a better man, Jack still ended up being an outlaw. Did this instance give more meaning to John's sacrifice? Probably not, and again I'm likely talking out my ass at this point, but at least we got to see the after effects of it. Without John's potential guidance for Jack to become a better man, John's death instead fueled Jack's bitterness and want for vengeance on the people, and man, responsible for taking his father away. It didn't even need to end on a positive note but I was still satisfied without how this game ended. And personally, as a standalone game, it is among my favourite if not the top and a large part of it is because I thought it ended so strongly.

I also mentioned PvPonline for some reason. At the time I was thinking up points I wanted to make when I started this post, it felt right to mention this comic but now I'm not quite sure why. I know the storyline I wanted to point out though and its The Wedding. Skull's heartwarming and touching farewell to Brent Sienna and the rest of the cast, in particular. To be even more specific, I think this strip can relate to the point I wanted to make. I think if BioWare decided that they didn't want to give full closure after the sacrifice, at least some sort of reaction by Anderson, your squadmates, Hackett, anyone basically prior to ultimately making the choice of whatever you wanted to do (Control/Synthesis/Destroy/etc.) would have sufficed and made more of an impact than what we eventually ended up getting.

Now the final game/storyline that I wanted to compare ME3 to is Fallout 3. I think this is the closest comparison in terms of the reception to the ending. While FO3 didn't necessarily conclude an entire trilogy, so the ending may have not meant too much to as many people as ME3 did, there was still a strong backlash to how the game ended (prior to Broken Steel). Personally, at the time, I loved how FO3 ended and this is Bethesda, of all developers, writing the story/end and they are, in my opinion, among the weakest developers around when it comes to writing up a good story, let alone a good ending, but even after your sacrifice you're given some, if not full, closure to the game.

At the time, and even now, I thought the complaint about the ending to FO3 was more about how you weren't able to continue exploring the wastes, which I think is fair, and not entirely about how the end was poorly written. I mean, a big part of Fallout 3, and pretty much any other Bethesda game/franchise, is being able to explore the world that they crafted with the character you built from scratch. The end of FO3 prevented you from continuing to do that because it didn't give you the postgame that, I think, most people were expecting from a Bethesda game. So if you wanted to prolong your time with FO3, explore every inch and have adventures in the game, you were basically forced to avoid the final act and just not complete the main quest. Especially if you didn't want to start up a whole new character.

So this is where Broken Steel came in. It essentially retconned your sacrifice and gave you an entirely new ending that allowed you a postgame and I think this is where it diverges with the situation with ME3. Like I said earlier, I think people were unsatisfied with FO3's original ending because most folk, myself included, wanted to continue playing in the world of FO3 rather than the actual ending being weak/poorly written. The writing for FO3, I think, was given more leeway because people weren't expecting a game from Bethesda with a rich storyline. Just because, in most cases, a grand story, or even a good one, isn't what Bethesda is known for. As long as the worlds Bethesda crafts are fun to explore and immerse yourself in, people are more willing to accept a serviceable or some semblance of a story from them. In ME3's and BioWare's case, and from my understanding, people are expecting an epic story, conclusion and what have you. And now they're demanding a new ending, not because they want a happy ending for Shepard, though I'm sure there are people who do want that fairy tale happy ending, or to even continue playing his story after the events, but that the conclusion is just not up to par to people's standard for a BioWare, or what would be associated as a story-driven, game.

So BioWare now has an opportunity to appease people's expectations with a "true ending" DLC. There have been a lot of theories thrown around, the Indoctrination one being the most prevalent, which is spirited and, I think, the most thought provoking but I'm personally able to accept what we've already got. I don't think its necessary that they should come out with one though I, more than likely, won't turn it away if they offered a "true ending" DLC. After all, I did buy Broken Steel for Fallout 3. But until a DLC that extends the "denouement" does come out, which I'd like to make clear that I'm not demanding for there to be one at all, there's really nothing to do but to accept the lackluster conclusion. And I am personally content with that.

A lot of people, I think, are just setting themselves up for more disappointment if they've already convinced themselves that there will be a new ending though. It isn't worth getting one's hopes up on it to the point of being absolutely bitter about the game and even the entire series. At least more bitter about it, if they're not outright loathing it at this point. The rest of the game is still so much fun and I'm actually in the process of working through new saves for import so I can play through the franchise again.

Yikes, this has been ridiculously long but I think that's pretty much all I have to say about this subject and I'm sure that none of what I brought up made a lick of sense XP Poorly constructed thoughts and comparisons, its what I do. Thanks again to anyone who bothered to read or even care about what I had to say about all of this. I'm really not expecting anyone to give a shit about another random person's opinion about a game that's already been talked about to death and that they may or may not even know about. Also, feel free to blast me about my grammar if you've made it this far XD

Emergency. Induction. Port.
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I've started procrastinating again.

I've been completely absorbed into Amalur. There was a bit of hype going for this game the closer it got to its release and, admittedly, it was barely on my radar. I decided to give it a shot not because I was hoping I was right or wrong on my judgement about the game before actually playing it but mostly because of Ken Rolston. At least, I think that's his name. Even now I'm not even sure. Whoops. He's actually pretty well respected as a game developer. Don't let my ignorance sully who this man actually is, I'm sure he's a legend in the gaming industry.

Anyway,  I listen to Invisible Walls pretty regularly and he was a guest on the show to promote Amalur several weeks ago. Listening to him made me feel embarrassed. I don't know why, I don't even know the man personally but it just felt like he was like your father who was super excited talking about something with his own quirky humour that only made himself laugh. While a little embarrassing, it was also endearing and I wished I could be as proud and passionate about something I created like Mr. Rolston was.

The following week or so, I was directed to another podcast from Twitter that discussed Skyrim, Amalur and RPGs in general, at least from what I remember. My interest, though more of a curiosity, in the podcast was because the discussion lead was about some complaints about Skyrim but I ended up not even giving two shits about the Skyrim conversation and the discussion about Amalur stuck with me more. Ken Rolston still sounding like the overenthusiastic father had won me over.

So I've given the game a shot. A lot of comparison has been made between Skyrim and Amalur prior to the release. People can make those comparisons if they want but if they go into Amalur expecting that it should rival, if not surpass, Skyrim, I think that'd be foolish. I am loving Amalur. I also loved Skyrim. Neither are perfect but I'm not expecting any game to be perfect. I think the better comparison is Amalur and Fable. I enjoyed Fable. I also had super high hopes for Fable because I believed everything Peter Molyneux said about the game even though prior to Fable I had no clue who Peter Molyneux even was. While I enjoyed Fable, for what it was, I was still disappointed in it. I think Amalur is what Fable set out to be on its first go around and actually succeeded. For what its worth, I've heard good/sorta good things about Fable II and Fable III, I've personally never played them though so it could have very well improved on the first but I was burned too badly by the initial game that I'm unwilling to play the rest of them.

As odd as its going to sound, Amalur plays like an MMO that is single player. Which I actually end up doing, in most cases, with the MMOs I've had access to. Its got a shit ton of distracting side quests and tasks which I don't mind at all. I understand that there are people who don't give a shit about all the extra side stuff and that's fine. I personally play these games to get as much out of it as I can and I am having my fill and loving it. If I only wanted to follow the campaign or story, there are plenty of other types of games out there that can fulfill that need. The combat is fun for as simple as it is. I was expecting something mindblowingly innovative and its not but that's entirely my fault for expecting something epic. There aren't many other action RPGs that have combat like this however or ones that do it so well. I enjoy the art style. People give a lot shit to WoW/LoL/cartoony art styles but I personally embrace them. I guess everything has to look super serious or realistic? Whatever. I love Adam Hughes' art, I love Skottie Young's art and I love Hiroaki Samura's art, as well as many more, there's room for all styles. I also had many other thoughts on the game while playing it but I'm unable to articulate them right now.

Now I feel bad for not uploading anything for the past week and possibly next few weeks. I'll be enjoying a great game in the meantime however so its all good :D
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Apprehension

2 min read
For the first time in a very long time I've been itching to create. Something. Anything. I just can't move past that hurdle of actually producing, however. I don't know why.

A while back I consciously told myself I'd step away from drawing so much "fanart", specifically Marvel/DC/etc. comic characters. Unfortunately, due to that decision, I think I lost a lot of interest in actually drawing. Though that sounds like an excuse to procrastinate on my own work. So I've been debating myself recently, telling myself to just suck it up and keep drawing fanart, even if I felt it would take away time I could be working on my own stuff (when I haven't really been working on my own stuff). At the very least you'll be drawing and that's better than not. Yet I still can't bring myself to draw yet another Joker or Hulk or whatever.

The past couple of days I've mostly just been doodling, rough sketching. Essentially forcing myself to draw when I really don't feel like it, hoping it'll break my habit of taking month to year long breaks with my art. Nothing worthwhile to share as of yet though but at least my pencils and erasers are in use again. Especially my erasers.

I've also recently been looking back on my older submissions, sketchbooks, etc. and realize how much shame I feel about them. Why did I ever think some, hell, any of my stuff looked good back then? Blah. I've thought about deleting my older submissions on here but I feel I need those eyesores as a reminder of how much, or how little, I've improved. What better way to motivate oneself, I guess.
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Strip Search by creid, journal

Guild Wars 2 by creid, journal

Time to roll your eyes, this is about Mass Effect. by creid, journal

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning by creid, journal

Apprehension by creid, journal